Oobs on Drinking and Cancer.

A new study reveals that even moderate drinking can raise a woman's risk.

The latest piece of evidence on the risks of drinking alcohol comes from researchers at Oxford University who studied more than 1.2 million women in the United Kingdom. They found that drinking alcohol may account for about 13 percent of all breast, liver, rectal and upper digestive tract cancers in women.

More shocking, even small amounts of alcohol seemed to increase the cancer risk. When compared with women who drank two or fewer alcoholic beverages per week, those drinking up to six alcoholic beverages had a 2 percent greater risk for cancer in general; those consuming between seven and 14 drinks per week had a 5 percent increased risk for cancer; and those consuming 15 or more drinks a week had a 15 percent increased risk for cancer.

I’m seriously fucked because I thought drinking 15 or more drinks per week was good for you. Fucking doctors. What was the point of this study? We already know that drinking heavily can cause dementia, vitamin B1 deficiency, cerebellar degeneration, stroke, liver damage, hepatitis, cirrhosis, gastritis, pancreatic, arrhythmia, and hypertension, etc. I still binge drink regularly.

But now that I know drinking will increase my risk of getting cancer by fifteen percent… How did they even come up with that number? All these cancer studies in my mind are suspect. That’s because it seems to me everything causes cancer. I’ve heard white bread, diet coke, and deodorant can cause cancer.

When they invent a time machine that allows someone with cancer today to go back in time ala Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure style to warn their former self not to drink to see if they get cancer the second time around…. And that person refrains from imbibing and then doesn’t get cancer. Well then I’d consider cutting back on my alcohol consumption. That would be a pretty clear cut study on the effects of alcohol, because it’s the same person see? It wouldn’t matter if they were genetically predisposed to getting cancer because the first time around they did and the second time around they didn’t and the one change was the alcohol.

So, in conclusion, the only thing that would stop me from drinking is a time machine.

You'd Cry Too

Biff Yelping

Canadian Bacon on Leatherface.

Her name is Leatherface because she smokes like a chimney, lays on a tanning bed, drinks like a fifty year old alcoholic, and fucks like a cheap prostitute. All that smoke, booze, and cum sits on her face making it hard and wrinkly like my awesome leather jacket.
On Thursday we all came across Leatherface. The girl who made the line "so I'm dicking this girl" famous. Last year a bunch of us saw our friend "Gets a lot of ass" and he told us this story that went like this..."So I'm dickin' this girl right and miracle number 1 is that I am able to "roll on." Then she gets this phone call from an ex-boyfriend and they start fighting on the phone. Then I start to think about if I was that guy how I wouldn't want to have some guy fucking her..." And so it continued on about how he couldn't have sex with this girl any more.
So, Thursday night we ran into Leatherface... She told us that she was giving up dick and Jameson for lent because in her words... "one leads to the other." Although she isn't really giving up dick. She is giving up stranger dick, which is funny because if you knew the kind of guys she likes to fuck you would no that there is nothing stranger then a guy wanting to fuck her. I think most guys want to feed her a carrot, slap a saddle on her and ride her into the sunset.

Oobs on Purse being a DUMBASS

So Purse is in Las Vegas and I hope she loses lots of money because I just found out this bitch has a side blog that she is writing on instead of writing on this one. You're in trouble Purse. Big trouble.

Oobs throwing shit at Purse

Oobs, Purse, and Drunkmeier on You’s the Faux.

The real this week's roast:

8 Mile without the class or the Talent. That’s right! We said it. You’s the Faux is on our radar this week because she has consistently failed to subscribe to this blog. So she is going to be fully roasted right now more than Canadian Bacon at a down syndrome convention. (Canadian Bacon will be roasted at a later time.)
Technically You’s the Faux is rumored to have a vagina and she may have tits (albeit it be bitch tits) but for the first two years of law school she partook in a circle jerk of narcissism. You’s the Faux may not be a real dude but she is tough. One night Drunkmeier begged her to punch him in the face. Why? Because it was Drunkmeier. Why did she actually do it? According to Drunkmeier it is because he fucking told her to. And yes she did. She knocked him a good one in the face and his shit was sore for two weeks. It was memoralized on Ol’ Yellers cell phone.
The bitch is built like a linebacker. She tackled Biff onto the bed like Jerome Bettis tackled Carson Palmer in the 2004 AFC north playoffs. And boom goes the dynamite.
Years from now You’s the Faux and her future husband are going to get that age old question… So where did you meet dad? And she’s going to have to admit that she was drunk, and bored at Finn McCools. Zing. And boom roast the dynamite.
But baby everybody loves you.
(P.S. this blog may leave something to be desired since Drunkmeier is fueled by his beer bought breast peep show tonight. He is thinking about four, perky boobs not the funky melons on You’s the Faux chest.)
(P.P.S. Drunkmeier called me “intellectually dishonest” for not showing him my boobs again.)